Awake Is The New Sleep

I have so much I could post about but this is what i've been doing for the last month...

I've been spending a lot of time here

WHICH MAKES ME FEEL LIKE THIS...

I would rather be doing this...

Or Even this

When nothing else comes

Yes he did get me off! Look how happy he is...

Dreaming about a Dream...

When you envision your dream house, what do you see? While your vision of your dream house may include a state-of-the-art kitchen and lots of closet space, your significant other (hahaha I don't have one of those) may have a different vision...like a state-of-the-art entertainment system and extra garage space for a muscle car collection. I guess I'm covered though because I want a state-of-the-art entertainment system & extra garage space:)

So I have been wanting to building my own house for the last 2 years and every year I chicken out. Well, this year just might be the year. Okay, maybe not. I might just be coming off a high from going to the St. George Parade of Homes. I love looking at homes, it might be one of my favorite things to do. I wasn't a huge fan of very many of the homes but there were a few here and there that had elements or concepts that I want in my dream home.

I want a large open Kitchen with a large island and plenty of seats for gathering!

I love the concept of the bed being built into the wall. Instead of doing 4 beds I would make the other side something different.

I love the title and wood together!

So I have been obsessed with the loft look forever. I haven't decided yet if I want my whole house to have the loft feel or if I could somehow bring it into just one area... probably just one area. I also want my house to have a Casita off of the home somewhere so that guests can have their own privacy.

I haven't decided what the outside is going to look like, but definitely not like any of the homes in the home show this year...wasn't a fan. So all of these little details might be a little much for my first home, but a girl can dream right?!

What a good looking group!

"On a Saturday"

This past Saturday was a great day... It was one of those days where the energy was all around good. If Saturday was a song title I probably would have given it the title of "Good Day " by Ron Pope

I started the day with a "run 4 love"...I haven't ran very much in the last month or 2 because I have been doing p90x, but on Saturday my roommate Sarah had cousins who were raising money for an adoption and I couldn't think of a better excuse to get me back into running. It was such a fun time. I just about died running 3 miles but at least I didn't finish last:)

Sarah is FAST!!

From there we met up with my brother Matt and his family for a little snow tubing in Kamas...It was so fun to see Jaden and Tanner snow boarding down the hill. Let's be honest they don't get that talent from me. I stopped the ski lift a couple of times the first time which was also the last time I went snowboarding. It was such a beautiful day, it was perfect for tubing! Thanks Matt and Marci we had a great time

After we had tubed for about 2 hours we headed back to Heber for dinner. We couldn't leave Heber without making a stop to the famous Dairy Keen not to be mistaken for Dairy Queen to get an ice-cream treat in the middle of winter:) Saturday was a GOOD DAY!!

Just another Talk? or Not?

Every once in awhile there comes along an experience that touches you to the core or you hear a talk & it moves you to act, change, move, pursue. A paradigm shift takes place. Last night I attended a forum. The speaker was Elder F. Enizo Bushe of the Quorum of the 70. He is one of my favorite speakers. He gave an amazing talk in 1996 at a BYU devotional that I absolutely fell in love with called "unleashing the dormant spirit". His talk last night brought to life a list of topics or questions that I have been pondering and seeking identification with. These are the thoughts that I wrote down after his talk.

1. What is the Purpose in Life?!

Often times when growing up I would give the answers of gaining a physical body, to get married, to have a family. But now I know that the true purpose of life is...TO LEARN! The greatest knowledge is to learn who we really are! To seek, remember, identify and learn that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father...What does it mean to know that you are a child of God ? It means that you are LOVED!

2. What is Prayer? & How do we Pray?

I have been questioning the intensity or lack of it in my prayers. I have found that I pray with 2 types of emotions... Fear or Love. The funny thing is that the two can't co-exist (1 John 4:18). Prayer is communication from spirit to spirit. My prayers are answered instantly. He is always communicating with me. I may be so focused on hearing the answer that I forget to listen for it. Elder Bushe stated "We can not communicate with God unless you have first sacrificed your self-oriented natural man and have brought yourself into the lower levels of meekness to become acceptable for the light of Christ." I am learning how.

3. Do we ever experience the full capacity of the LOVE within us?

Elder Bushe said "We need to expand our consciousness to become aware! We have capabilities within us that we are not even aware of. Avoid at all cost pessimistic, negative or criticizing thoughts, if you can not cut them out, they will do you harm." If God is Love and we are made in his image then we are love as well.

I have so many feelings that I can't put into thoughts that make sense to me on paper. Mostly I just have been pondering and seeking identification with my spirit. We have two spirits, there is the spirit of the flesh(Ego/head) & my Spirit(Heart). Sometime the leadership role between the two is confusing but it's a process that I am enjoying. Another quote that I really liked form Elder Bushe talk was "The pain of sacrifice lasts only one moment...It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes us hesitate to do it."

Happy Month of LOVE:)

Current Personality...

Your personality type: "Good-natured Realist"

Quiet, kind and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings. Interested in serving others.

Neuroticism

Overall Score	11
Anxiety	8
Anger	13
Depression	26
Self-Consciousness	48
Immoderation	9
Vulnerability	25

You are a calm person who is considered almost fearless by some. You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry. You very rarely feel depressed and are usually in a good frame of mind. You are not generally self conscious about yourself. You do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find yourself tempted to overindulge. You are poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed.

Extraversion

Overall Score	34
Friendliness	69
Gregariousness	18
Assertiveness	2
Activity Level	63
Excitement-Seeking	80
Cheerfulness	20

You genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. You make friends quickly and it is easy for you to form close, intimate relationships. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You lead a moderately paced life. You like some energetic activities, but also like to relax and take it easy. You love bright lights and hustle and bustle. You are likely to take risks and seek thrills. You are not prone to spells of energetic high spirits.

Openness to Experience

Overall Score	27
Imagination	1
Artistic Interests	50
Emotionality	45
Adventurousness	41
Intellect	57
Liberalism	49

You prefer facts over fantasy and are more interested in what is happening in the real word. You are reasonably interested in the arts but are not totally absorbed by them. Generally you are not considered to be an emotional person, however you are aware of and in touch with your emotions. Familiar routines are good, but sometimes you like to spice up your life with a bit of adventure or activity. You enjoy a certain amount of debate or intellectual thought, but sometimes get bored with too much. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking.

Agreeableness

Overall Score	57
Trust	76
Morality	32
Altruism	39
Cooperation	54
Modesty	60
Sympathy	56

You naturally assume that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. You believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You will help others if they are in need. If people ask for too much of your time you feel that they are imposing on you. You do not enjoy confrontation, but you will stand up for yourself or push your point if you feel it is important. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You are mostly a compassionate person, however you prefer to make objective judgments when possible.

Conscientiousness

Overall Score	56
Self-Efficacy	50
Orderliness	75
Dutifulness	45
Achievement-Striving	26
Self-Discipline	33
Cautiousness	75

You are moderately confident that you can achieve the goals you set yourself. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans. Your sense of duty and obligation is average and although you are mostly responsible you can sometimes be unreliable. You are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. You find yourself procrastinating and show poor follow-through on tasks. Often you fail to complete tasks - even tasks that you want very much to complete. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Hmmm...not sure how accurate this test is, but it was fun:)